Friday, October 30, 2009

Studio Beauty Channel Party

The Party: Studio Beauty Channel Launch Party
Location: Korres Makeup Store in Soho
Total Party Count: 43

The other night, in a little make-up store named Korres on Wooster St, a launch party was had for Studio Beauty Channel. What is Studio Beauty Channel? Its a website to help girls look pretty!! Watch their videos so you don't die alone. I should watch them but I will probably forget, because I am bad at being a girl. If I was good at being a girl, I wouldn't have gone to this party for the sole purpose of discovering how many mini-cupcakes I could take off this man's tray before it became inappropriate....

According to James, 3 mini-cupcakes is socially acceptable. I made carlen get me #7 and james got me #8.

Carlen is my soul sister. Sometimes drunk people think I'm her, plus we both have cupcake eating disorders.

the weirdo cupcake girls + the incredible elizabeth spiridakis!
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My Adidas Party

The Party: Paper Mag / Adidas Party
Location: Adidas Store in Soho
Total Party Count: 42

I didn't have much time to plan for party #42, so when I saw something about a a Paper Magazine / Adidas Party nearby, I scrambled there all by myself. "Did you RSVP?" Yeah duh totally!

I'm not exactly sure what we were celebrating other than a 25% discount, but hey, if you needed some new sneaks or free booze, this was the place to be. I needed neither of those things. As I was walking in circles wondering what I could possibly do at an adidas party for the next 27 minutes (ive chosen that as the minimum party attendance time), two guys came up to me asking if i was this adidas model:

I'm pretty sure she looks nothing like me and you might think these guys were trying to pick me up but im 99% positive they were gay. I love gays because they are always complementing your horrendously wacky outfits and making you feel like a special model diva when really youre totally gross, dont believe a word they say!!! (just kidding.... NOT).

My dreams have come true!!!!

my new amazing adidas party friends!!!!

Adidas, please send me this tiger jacket!!!! I promise to make your clothes look awkward at a lot of parties.

thanks for being in my blog you guys
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Todd P's Punkin' Carvin' Party

The Party: Todd P's Punkin' Carving Party
Location: His place in Long Island City
Total Party Count: 41

When my old pal Todd P invited me over for a pumpkin carving party, I immediately headed to jubilee market (it was B.Y.O.P.). Unfortunately, when I got there, it seemed I was screwed with these ugly pumpkins...
sorry, i think we'd be better off as friends

Luckily I spotted their display pumpkin by the front, and next thing you know I am on my way to LIC with this baby....
Would you mind taking a picture of me and my pumpkin??

When I arrived at the party
I contemplated carving Todd's face into my pumpkin, but then I realized oh wait, I've never carved a pumpkin before and I have no idea what I'm doing. They don't teach you these things in jew school.

My lofty goals were reduced to a Pre-K level smiley face, and even though I was the last to finish (cause my punkin was so big!) I was really proud of myself cause I didn't cut off my hand!


It really helped me build better self esteem.
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Dum Dum Girls After After Party

The Party: Dum Dum Girls unofficial after party
Location: Daddy's in Greenpoint
Total Party Count: 40

On account of the Doggy Party and dinner at Snacky, I sadly missed most of the Dum Dum Girls / Reading Rainbow show, but I was comforted by the epic hangs which followed.

The remnants of the crowd at Bruar Falls and a few new drop-ins congealed into a post-cmj clusterfudge of brooklyn's greatest hits + special guests! We were having a nice time at "the falls" when it was somehow determined that the party was moving to Daddy's. Why? Why were we going to move to a different bar to do the exact same thing we were doing right there? You know whats dumb? "Bar Hopping." Having a beer in a different chair is not an activity, its not even an adjective. AAANYWAY, we moved to Daddy's, and it was kewl. I'm glad we barhopped!

i hope my mom lets me hang out with these cool people again

world #1 bartender!

Jake was a celebrity magician in his youth and hes a little sensitive about it, but i got him to do some tricks!

when i am old (spring 2010) i want someone to use this photo at the end of a slideshow of pics at daddy's, set to madonna's hit single "this used to be my playground" from the motion picture soundtrack "a league of their own."
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Animal Fair's Doggy Dressup Party

The Party: Animal Fair Magazine's 9th Annual Pet Costume Party
Location: M2 Ultra Lounge
Party Count: 39

Attention -- I have a new favorite party! Apparently my greatest joy in life is...... dogs in costumes! When I received an email a few weeks back about Animal Fair Magazine's "Howl-oween" Party, I RSVP'd in a matter of seconds because I knew this would be good! Miss Katie joined in on the fun as my +1, and aside from the frenchmen employed by the event's wine sponsor, we were just about the only people without pets. Here goes nothing....

Me & Smokey preventing forest fires!

Life is Ruff!

Aint Nothing but a Hounddog?

Bitches in Heat!

yeah i really did that

Dog is my co-pilot

think about this for a minute .

Katie on the Karpet

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Sunday Smiths Nite at Sway Party

The Party: Smiths / Morrissey Dance Night
Location: Sway (in the West Village)
Total Party Count: 38

I just realized my friend Keren is my party coach, because she pushes me to party when I think I just can't take it anymore. As I was secretly contemplating not partying-a-day and wondering if anyone would notice, a text from Keren pops up, "where's the party a day at!"

Well with Morrissey almost dying this week, it seemed like a good a time as any to finally hit up the weekly Sunday Smiths/Morrissey Night at Sway! We were joined by the geniuses behind Stuff Hipsters Hate, although I couldn't hear a word they were saying. Here are some things I learned:

1) This party is kind of a big deal, and NYC is the city that never sleeps (i just made up that line!). People were waiting behind a velvet rope at 2am on a sunday night-- What a world!

2) Its not actually 100% Smiths songs, maybe 10%, but the other 90% reminded me of my i-just-graduated-college-and-have-nothing-to-do-but-dance-to-the-rapture days (in a good way), plus they played peggys band!

3) My usually perfect gaydar is rendered useless at Smiths Night. If a gey is singing along to "warm leatherette" while grinding his crotch into me, is he still a gey??

4) Go here if you want to hook up ( i didn't! but you could! maybe thats why this party is so popular??? )

And remember to please use protection-- especially with this crowd!
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CMJ Party Round-up (5-in-1)

Party #33: 5th Anniversary Party @ Santo's
Party #34: AAM Party @ The Suffolk
Party #35: Matador / True Panther Party @ The Suffolk
Party #36: Brooklyn Vegan Day Party @ Pianos
Party #37: Sushi Party with Pete & The Pirates @ Takahachi

As a party expert, I often get asked "What constitutes a party? Is a concert a party?" No, a concert is not a party, but there are exceptions when it comes to such things. For example, if the name of the event has "party" in it, then hey, IT'S A PARTY! The annual CMJ Music Festival is ripe with events of that sort, and so here is my round-up of 5 days of loophole partying. I'm gonna gloss over it because i can barely remember it and you can also read about in on a hundred different websites, and I want to get back to covering funny parties....

Wednesday was the 5th Birthday Party/Show for the trusty nyc showlistings website Ohmyrockness. Small Black were my favorite band of the night, but these wacky 'wegians were definitely the coolest looking:

UNGDOMSKULEN (singer forgot to XYZ)

The next night after catching Male Bonding at Pianos I was hanging out at cakeshop and i ran into one of my favorite people, Jay Ruttenberg, who joined me on a trip around the block to see New Zealand's Surf City at the AAM Party. The show was literally running 2 hours late, so he told me stories about his nutty mom for a while. I stuck around til about 2am for violens....

in case you are curious how many people want to
watch violens at 2:30am

Inexplicably I went back to cakeshop after the show, and lo and behold, my british bros from the amazing Pete and the Pirates were having some brewskies right where I left them 4 hours ago.

On Friday after watching an awesome set from one of my favorite new bands Surfer Blood at cakeshop, I headed over to The Suffolk to catch Cold Cave. There was a long line in the rain to get in, which i waited on for a few minutes until it occurred to me, wait, could i be a Very Important Person?? Turns out yes I was (thanks so much gabe). I have little recollection of what I did after their set, but I know I made three separate trips to Rosarios pizza over the course of the night.

On Saturday I missed most of the Brooklyn Vegan Day Party because I am bad at waking up but I was happy to hear pete & the pirates were doing an impromptu encore....

Then instead of seeing a lot of bands that I really should see, I took the fellas out for sushis at Takahachi....

Midnight sushi party with me, peggy, two petes, two pirates, a girlfriend and a tour manager (it was fun even though it looks like it wasnt cause we were tired and wet)
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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Brian's Bacaro Birthday Party

The Party: Brian DeRan's Birthday
Location: Bacaro in Chinatown
Total Party Count: 32

It was looking as though i was going to have to attend some kind of hummus cookoff, but my friend Nicole had a more traditional party invitation and offered to make me her date. After a bonding-sesh over a really amazing mountain of couscous at cafe gitane, we made our way to Brian's Birthday Party!

So we get to this fancy underground cave (er, "wine cellar") called Bacaro, except we couldn't actually find the party. were we the first people there? was the party yesterday? did we just commit to drinking bellinis in the wrong bar? while nicole attempted to answer those questions and more with my circa-2006 blackberry facebook app, we overheard some man talking about brian, and soon enough we discovered the party in an alcove in the basement, transitioning from the intimate private dinner to the latter "come by and have some drinks" part.

It was kind of very awkward but I did my best to use my new party skills to pretend like we belonged there, but it still felt like we were crashing even though we totally weren't! I didn't know anyone there at first except the cutest Animal Collector who I'm fairly certain doesn't remember that I interviewed him in a cupcake shop in 2005 for my tv show. I was beginning to get down on all my partying, until, suddenly, things began to come full circle when this guy i was standing next to goes...."Hey....Didnt I meet you at the.... GDGT Party?" AAAAH!!!!!

Look- its me at a party!

Birthday Boy Brian & Nicole. I need a new camera, sorry.
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Sat. Nite Triple-Header Party

Party #29: Annie Power's Birthday Party
Party #30: Carlen Altman's Big 2-5
Party #31: Mark O'Donnell's Bday / Cathy/Balla/ Zach's Housewarming

I went all out last saturday night (as in a whole week ago-sorry for the delay), hitting not 1 but 3 parties in the FAIL district. In fact, if I write a separate entry for each party, I won't have time tonight to wish I was home!

Well the night started off at the delightful tarp-covered williamsburg backyard of photographer and birthday girl Annie Powers. We enjoyed some jello shots and mulled wine in preparation for a long night of mayhem, as there was a general understanding that the other parties may not be providing such wondrous treats. I was sure to take advantage of the hummus & carrots open bar.

We Luv U Annie! TANX 4 D PAR-T

Being Young, Having Fun

Next stop was the birthday party of the hilarious comedian & friend carlen altman! It was at that place that isn't the venue glasslands, but rather the place next door to it that sometimes confuses you when youre looking for glasslands. I managed to hit my head against the stone wall as i was walking in. awesome. i dont think anyone saw and i forgot about it less than a minute later so NBD.

Then we made our way to the biggest party of the night- a mega-party- The Mark O'Donnell Birthday / Cathy & Chris & Balla's Housewarming Party.

As I increasingly become a party expert, I'm going to share secret tips with you: go for COMBO PARTIES. when you take 2 different parties and smash them together, you have a much higher chance of success. Lets say you are a loser and you have a bunch of loser friends, you can all join forces and equal one cool person!! For example, Mark, Cathy and Balla!!! JUST KIDDING YOU GUYS!!

This party was kind of epic, everyone was there!!! I spent most of it sitting on a couch with a girl from italy who didnt really know english. I left my bag in one of the rooms and had to retrieve it around 4:30am when there were two people in bed and i was all "so sorry, just need to get my bag, thanks, sorry, sorry bout that, bye."

this is my life

this girls got the right idea.
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Tokion Magazine Website Party

The Party: Tokion Magazine's Website Launch party
Location: Avenue. No, its called Avenue.
Total Party Count: 28

Ever go to "The Meatpackers District" or a club called "Avenue?" If so, you might be a douche, and now I'm one too! Tokion Magazine hosted a swanky lil party to celebrate their new website, so keren and I headed over there after the deli party.

There was an open bar but it was limited to gin which is probably the grossest kind of alcohol, and to order it you actually had to say "I'll have one 'Friday I'm in Love'." The alternative was paying $15 for a vodka-soda which keren unfortunately had to learn the hard way (plus tip). OMG I mean I love gin! We didn't know very many people there at first but keren was really impressed with my crazy party powers (i guess i am learning a lot of new skillz from this project).

the meatpackers

5 hours ago we didnt know these bros but now we are bros! Sign up for my course at the learning annex and you can meet new people too!

afterwards I went to see washed out play at santa's party place. I'd blog about it but it wasn't technically a party, it was just a cool show. CMJ Week starts now!! EEK.
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"Save The Deli" Deli-licious Party!

The Party: "Save The Deli" Book Launch Party
Location: Ben's Kosher Delicatessen in Midtown
Total Party Count: 27

My grandparents sent me a text this morning to meet for dinner at Bianca, and at their chosen meal time of 5pm we were unsurprisingly the only people there... aside from the magical Mr. John Waters who apparently is also a big fan of the early bird special.

Even though my grandparents, john waters, and the eggplant parm totally ruled, had I known what was in store for tonight's party maybe I should have skipped that portion of the night, cause this giant buffet party was off the hook.....

I times squared it to the "Save-The-Deli" Book Launch Party at Ben's Kosher Delicatessen!! Sometimes people ask me "so, what's been your favorite party so far?" and I reply "hmmmm...none." Well I was waiting for the day when I could reply without sounding like a depressed loser, and apparently that day will never come! What does it mean that my favorite party is a bunch of jews eating free pastrami, latkes and rugallach in a deli in midtown??? It was a glorified homeless food line, and it was the best.

lisa & teva getting their handouts.

me and my dad's old friend sandy levine who runs the carnegie deli!! thats his amazingly nice wife whose father originally opened the deli (nice going, sandy!)

dunno this guy but i think i love him

awww yeah!!!
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