Jesse Cohen's X-Mas Eve Holiday Party

The Party: Jesse Cohen's Xmas Eve Party
Location: Sophie's Bar (in the East Village)
Total Party Count: 90

On X-Mas Eve Part Deux I attended the annual affair of Mr. Jesse Aaron "Yishai" Cohen, AKA my second favorite member of Tanlines, whose party at  Sophie's bar was chock-full of some of my top Jews and Asians! When I was "closing my tab" as people do, the bartender informed me that "that guy got your drink." Uh, I don't know that guy, I'm pretty sure I don't want to know that guy, he's not part of "the party", what's the proper protocol here?? Suddenly a little asian angel appeared on my left shoulder and said "Go Thank Him." Ah! Ok, duh, thank you asian angel! So I walked over to this dude  and expressed my faux-gratitude in a disingenuously-flirty small talk form for about 4 minutes, which seemed a sufficient exchange for my $8 drink, which comes to about $1.99 a minute. In other news, please let everyone know I changed my cell to 1-900-SHIRLEY. Call me, I'm waiting!